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Monday, November 2, 2015

EGYPT: The Egyptian president, El-Sisi gives his nation the lazy eye.

 From Muhammad Nassir to El-Sisi
After a harsh speech addressed to the nation by El-Sisi

  
Satire

Good evening, Sisi! I hope you are fine!
My cousins have a message for you.
They are a group of idle young guys.
A half of them is starving.
The other half is scavenging garbage pins.
My friends at the café would kiss your hand.
In fact, they damn the circumstance that brought you to power
A group of revolutionary guysm, they are.
Some belong to 6-April, some are liberal.
Others are Ikhwan recuperating in prisons.
Damn be he who upsets you!
By God, do not be upset.
You look like you have lost weight.
Your suite has become loose and your face looks pale.
Your teeth are shaking as if your heart is aware that something will happen.
Do not worry, it is the cursed nation.
A nation that does not know what is good for her.
A nation that is ungrateful.
A nation that deserves a low-life president.
You are far from being a low-life.
How cute you are though the nation is starving!
I am here just to tell you a few words to make you happy
Words that are like a sickle…cutting through my skin.
When you said, “Have you elected me to torture me?
I am going to complain to the nation.”
Man, complain to who about who?
You were so nervous because you did not like those who are talked about you,
though they were the pupil of your eye.
They have sold out all their principles to support you.
Have they been a bit harsh in their citicism?
May they suffer!
But those were your men.
How many times they applauded for you!
Be careful! Do not let yourself be exposed!
Anyways, do you remember when they ousted Morsi?
Have you forgotten?
What a cruel heart you have.
A bunch of media people upsetting you!
Were you not the lion?
Need you a spell against envy?
Are you forgetting?
Is not Egypt your father’s  real estate.
And the nation is but your slaves.
Flog them!
Use your club!
Oh, you look so tired.
Allow me to say a truthful word.
You are right,
There are bad people who want to torture you with their criticism
They blame you for what?
Are you not the brave General?
Do not cry and hush them up with issuance of a presidential decree.
And say to the nation,
“My beloved people who are the light of my eyes,
I have decided to gather your opinions of me in a survey”
The millions may show up singing,
“Come back, our president”
Did not Amr Adeeb ask you to be more abusive so that we wake up and understand?
They say you have sold us an illusion.
So What!
It is not your fault.
The faulty one is he who agreed to buy.
They needed a good dream.
Do the survey.
What nation!
They have no interest in silk but in a cheap fabric.
Have not some purchased apartments in your illusionary one-million-apartment project
And others are now possessing million acres of land?
A nation you made mount a rocket,
And brought to them your illusionary medical shish-kebab project.
Between you and me, let me tell you,
you do not look well.
You look worried like someone who has been exposed for his lies.
If you need to rest for a while, then do it.
And let me tell your people,
“El-Sisi is right. He said that he was of you, that you asked him to be careful.”
He is careful.
Do the survey and show those who are plotting against you how beloved you are.
You were right when you once said that this nation did not have someone to take care for it.
Get closer, then, to your people!
Remember Tamarrud when they stood against Morsi and said,
“We do not want you because the streets are not yet secure,
Poor people still poor, we still beg for funds from foreign countries,
We and the country have lost our dignity,
The economy has collapsed and is now relying on begging,
You have become an American agent,
By God, tell me, is not this what it is right now?
You know what; you have already split the family
Go home, if the burden is too heavy for you to carry
Or be a man and do the survey!


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